Longer, harder thoughts

"I read so many short, easy things. I read the label on the shampoo bottle, I read e-mail, I read the headings of all the top Google news stories, I read magazines. And this gives me lots of practice for all my short, easy thoughts: Turn left at the light. Bring a sweater. Add salt. There's nothing wrong with thoughts like these; the world would collapse without them. But I also have longer harder thoughts, ones that I circle slowly, over months, years, my whole life probably. I return again and again to the same irresolvable questions as I attempt to share my life with another person, to be a good daughter, to be an artist. These slow thoughts often catch me unawares, while turning left or adding sald. I am startled, almost insulted ot be reminded of my own depths: This is unnecessary! I'm doing fine! I remembered to bring a sweater! Books hold a place inside of me for the long thoughts. And they also taught me how to think like that in the first place. Their slow cadnece, the commitment to silence they require, the way they endure over generations - these are not easy qualities to locate in the world, or in myself."

Miranda July