One Thing Needful

Must read talk by Patricia R. Holland

Obviously the Lord has created us with different personalities, as well as differing degrees of energy, interest, health, talent, and opportunity. So long as we are committed to righteousness and living a life of faithful devotion, we should celebrate these divine differences, knowing they are a gift from God. We must not feel so frightened, so threatened and insecure; we must not need to find exact replicas of ourselves in order to feel validated as women of worth. There are many things over which we can be divided, but one thing is needful for our unity—the empathy and compassion of the living Son of God.

I believe we can find our steady footing and stilling of the soul by turning away from physical preoccupations, superwoman accomplishments, and endless popularity contests, and returning instead to the wholeness of our soul, that unity in our very being that balances the demanding and inevitable diversity of life.

We must have the courage to be imperfect while striving for perfection. We must not allow our own guilt, the feminist books, the talk-show hosts, or the whole media culture to sell us a bill of goods—or rather a bill of no goods. We can become so sidetracked in our compulsive search for identity and self-esteem that we really believe it can be found in having perfect figures or academic degrees or professional status or even absolute motherly success. Yet, in so searching externally, we can be torn from our true internal, eternal selves. We often worry so much about pleasing and performing for others that we lose our uniqueness—that full and relaxed acceptance of one’s self as a person of worth and individuality. We become so frightened and insecure that we cannot be generous toward the diversity and individuality, and yes, problems, of our neighbors.

We are aware of our hunger and needs, but still ignorant of what will satisfy them. With our garnered free time, we are more apt to drain our creative springs than to refill them. With our pitchers [in hand] we attempt … to water a field, [instead of] a garden. We throw ourselves indiscriminately into the committees and causes. Not knowing how to feed the spirit, we try to muffle its demands in distractions. Instead of stilling the center, the axis of the wheel, we add more centrifugal activities to our lives—which tend to throw us [yet more] off balance.

We are women now, not children, and we are expected to pray with maturity. The words most often used to describe urgent, prayerful labor are wrestle, plead, cry, and hunger. In some sense, prayer may be the hardest work we ever will engage in, and perhaps it should be.

Meeting God in scripture has been like a divine intravenous feeding for me

We have all recognized the relationship between Abraham and Isaac that so parallels God’s anguish over the sacrifice of his son, Jesus Christ. But, as women, do we stretch ourselves and also ask about Sarah’s travail in this experience as well? We need to search in this manner, and we need always to look for deeper meaning. We should look for parallels and symbols. We should look for themes and motifs such as those we would find in a Bach or a Mozart composition, and we should look for repeated patterns.

On the woman we think we should be

Marta Writes writes about the image of other women we sometimes create in our heads. We have to be authentic and value other women while being gentle on ourselves.

she is currently traveling the states for her booktour. it just debuted on the new york times bestseller list, naturally. this is only the tip of the iceburg, people. she is on the cutting edge of fashion and music. she has an eye for design. she not only lunches with the rich and famous, but she is a darling mother and wife and cooks dinners from scratch every evening. she is down to earth and drop dead gorgeous. and talented too. she letterpressed her own wedding invitations. her dress was flown in from milan and she had her groom's name embroidered on the hem in tiffany blue to be her something blue. that night everyone went home with a smile and a handwrapped box of her famous mint truffles, which had their monograms on them. in coordinating calligraphy to match the menus.

her house is always clean and smells of pine-sol. she hunts consignment shops and flea markets for original vintage wares to fill her home. she found an antique birdcage and sprayed it gold just last week. oh and her baby wears all handsewn dresses. that were made of bamboo eco-friendly material that will never hurt the earth. and her baby has this name that is so graceful and classic, the sweetest name that no one has ever thought of before. and she uses cloth diapers too. she and her little one spend time learning about the world in their backyard butterfly aviary. her 18 month old can repeat the origins of each butterfly species, sing the alphabet, and control her cup so it never spills apple juice down her lacy peter pan collar. the family eats out of her vegetable garden and she bakes bread from organic bananas. she delivers it to neighbors, wrapped with organza silk ribbons, on birthdays.

she has tons of friends, hosts a girl's night every month and seems to be speaking at blogging conventions every season. she has never had an embarrassing moment, a bad hair day or a tacky prom dress. she is funny and sweet and thoughtful. she sends timely thank yous and answers every email in her inbox with flair. her ability to arrange flowers has been featured in magazines across the globe. annie leibovitz will be shooting her in the hamptons next summer. she has already bought (and blogged about) the strappy sandals she'll be wearing for it. she owns all the latest gadgets and has created her own app. she still has time to sing her babies to sleep and cuddle with her husband and keep the laundry folded round the clock. she never has any sort of breakdown about frivolous things likecranberry sauce or pitted black olives. she blogs freely without wasting time, whining about life, cricizing or copying others.

oh and she has a booming photography business on the side. did i mention that? she snaps shots of coordinating-clothed families on the train tracks and pregnant woman with their tanned bare bellies and newborns lying on overstuffed floral anthropologie chairs. speaking of anthropologie, she does the window displays for their santa barbara location. they fly her in on the weekends. afterwards she flies kites at the beach with disabled children and then sells the colorful kites on etsy.

a few weeks ago, she made cupcake pops for her husband's super bowl party. they looked like teeny tiny drew brees helmets. she is always thinking up the best ideas and would never serve something so menial as meatballs from a crockpot.